Here are just some of things that my runaway mind has been mulling over while on vacation...
-Our daughter starting middle school
-Turning 40 this month
-Training for 2 half marathons this year, and one early next year
-Pursuing my Bachelor's full time this fall
-Learning how to be a full time student, after just leaving a position that I held for over 6 years
After a few tears and lots of prayer early this morning, I was reminded while reading my morning devotion, that I have been preparing for each and every one of these things. My rational mind realizes and acknowledges that just because I have prepared, there is no guarantee that things will go as planned. However, being prepared does provide peace in the interim.
Maybe I am a control freak, yeah.. I might be. But I am really trying to let God be in control. I know He is, He is truly. I'm not, as much as I think I am sometimes. So let's look at the list above and face them one by one (believe me this is for me, and if you are still reading this.. God bless your little heart.)
- Middle school. What did I think of my experience? It wasn't all bad. 6th grade was pretty cool, 7th and 8th were about discovering my first crushes and fostering amazing friendships, oh and New Kids on the Block. One thing I know for sure, my daughter's relationship with God and her faith is way more developed than mine was at her age. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for that. Right now, her favorite things to do are play with her dolls and create fun things out of empty boxes. I know that will change, way sooner than I would like, but for now, I am savoring every single moment.
-Turning 40? So far, I have never felt better in my life. I am taking charge of my health, have been since 2009. I feel awesome most of the time. Do I like the dark circles under my eyes, no not really.. but hey, one of these days maybe I will purchase some concealer. I am totally grateful for 40 years on this planet. I know amazing people, have love in my life, and got to be a Mommy. Thank you God.
-Training. I love it. Am I the fastest? Do I have amazing lungs? No. But I do it, day after day. I am committed. That to me is an accomplishment that I can be proud of. It's mine. I love the culture of it, love training with friends, and the races are so much fun!!
-School. Sometimes I am scared. Sometimes I wonder if this is the right choice. But then I allow myself time to fantasize about having my own first or second grade classroom, and I remember yes, this is what I have always wanted. So this will be hard. It will not be easy. Being a Mom, wife, part time employee, and student will be a balancing act, but with God's strength and the support of my family and friends - it can and will be done.
This month feels like a crossroads in my life. All good things. Major changes for all of us. But I am choosing to look forward with an attitude of gratitude and anticipation. I have been preparing myself for what is to come, but also look forward to new opportunities for growth.
What in your life do you need to prepare for? What changes can you make now that will give you peace of mind in the future? Is it health related? Job related?
Whatever it is, give yourself the gift of preparation. Put the work in now, and one day you will thank God you did.
Your Sole Searching Sister,